A Thousand Times No

No, no, a thousand times no.

I’ve been struggling with a lot of “no” in my life of late: No, I’m not ready to get married; no, we won’t allow you to work on that portion of the project; no, you don’t get to sing that part. I don’t like to keep hearing No, but I get it all the time. Everybody does. Still, to get anywhere in this world, you have to be ready to deal with a whole lot of No and just keep moving.

So, I’ve initiated a project called A Thousand Times No. It starts with a blog that records when I get turned down for things, sometimes trivial, sometimes major. The point is to actually seek out No, to keep going out on a limb. Too often, we don’t get the very thing we want because we don’t ask — and we don’t ask because we’re afraid of No.

In a lot of ways, my life would be better with a greater amount of No, because along with all that No also comes so much Yes. Besides, I need an incentive to get out there and swing for the fences, rather than just bunt.

I’ll be producing audio segments every few weeks, speaking with people whose experiences and activities give them an interesting perspective on being turned down, or dealing with No.

In some ways, the best thing is that there’s a natural end point to the process. Get to the 1000th No, scribble some valedictory phrases, and out I go. It’ll be interesting to take in the scenery from along the way from here to there.

After the final no there comes a yes
And on that yes the future world depends.

– Wallace Stevens, from “The Well Dressed Man With A Beard”