A Thousand Times No

Remember the conversation-starter that asks which superpower you’d rather have, the ability to fly or the ability to make yourself invisible?  My hidden talent lies in a variant of the two: I have become adept at flying in a way that is invisible to my pocketbook.  Yes, I’m an expert at getting bumped from airline flights.

Just yesterday the New York Times ran a piece on how the level of voluntary passenger bumping has been escalating now that an increasing numbers of airline flights are overbooked.  Since most of my air travel is for personal trips and I don’t face hard deadlines with my arrivals, I’ve permitted myself to be bumped more than a half-dozen times over the years.  In exchange, I’ve received vouchers or coupons towards future flights that have turned my tickets into twofers (or, in one legendary instance, stretching a ticket purchased with frequent flyer miles into three additional round-trip tickets).

Today I arrived more than an hour early for my flight, dropped off by one of my friends who was returning a rental car to the airport.  When I arrived at the gate with boarding pass in hand, I asked (as I always do) whether the flight was completely full.

“Completely,” said the people working at the counter while they intently keyed through their screens.  They were friendly and conversational, but clearly focused on working with their passenger data.  My antennae started tingling.

I asked if they needed any volunteers to give up seats, and they immediately took me up on my offer.  After spending a few minutes looking for ways they could reroute me to Portland, they found a way to rearrange my itinerary to free up the seat I would have been taking to Washington-Dulles.

So rather than the much-dreaded, non-stop, coast-to-coast connecting flight from Dulles that I was expecting when I arrived at the airport, here’s what I got instead:

• A connecting flight that took me through one of my all-time favorite terminals, Helmut Jahn’s light-filled B and C wings of Chicago O’Hare
• Exit-row window seats on each plane, both with literally over six feet of legroom due to seat configurations that removed the window seat from the row in front of me
• An arrival in Portland over two hours earlier than my original itinerary
• A voucher for a free round-trip flight anywhere in the continental US

I don’t think anyone’s had such a good time getting bumped off since the filming of “The Sopranos” wrapped.  The only thing missing was a soundtrack from — say it with me now — Journey.  W00t-w00t-w00t!