A Thousand Times No

I love this small detail from a story in the Sunday Times of London by sports journalist and former professional road cyclist Paul Kimmage, who more or less embedded himself with the Garmin-Chipotle squad during the Tour de France:

At 2.30pm on a wet Friday before the opening stage, [team director Jonathan] Vaughters gathered the riders and staff for the first race briefing. Garmin, which makes satnav [satellite navigation/GPS] equipment, had just been unveiled as the team’s title sponsor. “They’re a conservative, mid-west American company and the only thing we can never say is, ‘We’re lost’,” Vaughters cautioned with a smile. “So no matter how lost you are, never say, ‘I’m lost’, say, ‘I’m naked’ - that’s the codeword.”

As if you have to train persons with Y chromosomes to actually refrain from uttering the words “I’m lost”?  That’s rich.

C’mon people, given the choice between metaphorically versus literally not wearing the pants around here, we all know which one most guys prefer.  I mean really, ask the gentlemen of your acquaintance which act they are more likely to perform after rolling down their car windows:

• Asking for directions?
• Mooning?

I’ll be off in the corner whistling “Clair de lune” while you track down the answer.