A Thousand Times No

When Will Shortz hosts a tournament, I’m there.  The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, the National Sudoku Championship, you name it.  If he hosted a National Paint Drying Invitational, I’d be right at his side, volunteering my A-Z off.

Why?

Like, duh.  He’s Will Shortz.

(For those of you who don’t understand that last sentence, I am told that scrupulously avoiding all natural lighting can help you with the Vitamin Geek deficiency you are experiencing.)

Earlier this year, I was crushed to learn that the National Sudoku Championships, which have been held in Phiadelphia every year since their inception, would take place during the same weekend as Livestrong Austin.

Making the choice between Philly and Austin was painful enough.  Now that I’m down in the Lone Star State, the word from Philly is that a major Sudoku cheating scandal transpired in my absence.

Ten letters, two words:

Today I received a small set of sterling silver items in the mail that I ordered earlier in the week on Etsy. I was astonished that they arrived so quickly, since they had been shipped all the way from Norway. The leg across the Atlantic was already impressive, but the truly astonishing fact is that the delivery somehow managed to work its way across the city of Philadelphia in under 72 hours.

In other news from Scandinavia: Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize today, much to the surprise of observers around the globe. This comes on the heels of Al Gore receiving the prize in 2007, and Jimmy Carter being named a laureate in 2002. One wonders whether domestic issues are as much a factor in these selections as foreign policy positions: globetrotting Democrats from the Executive branch who can manage to keep their pants zipped certainly seem to have a leg up in the selection process.

Just got out of the pool, and I have come to the realization that when I am in the water, the creature I most resemble is the humble manatee.

Placid, plump, and very, very slow.