A Thousand Times No

Okay, less than twelve hours after the Philly Urban Triathlon (shoot-run-swim), we have yet another person shooting a city police officer. For the third time in a week. While trying to hold up a Dunkin’ Donuts.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

And the moral of the story is: If you put on a mask, shoot three civilians in a vehicle on the street, drive a few blocks, shoot a police officer in his squad car before he has time to draw his weapon, get out of your car, run a few blocks, and jump in a river…

…do not expect anyone to leap into the water to rescue you.

CBS3 reporter Stephanie Abrams summed it up:

Sources tell CBS3 that police actually saw the suspect struggling in the river after he jumped in, but because he had already shot an officer and three other people, they were advised not to go in after him, for their own safety.

It then became very difficult to find him in the dark, murky waters of the Schuylkill here.

Well, there’s a surprise.

A body matching the description of the shooting suspect was trawled from the river early this morning at approximately 2:45am.

Before I write another word, let me apologize to Philly’s Finest for wisecracking about the donuts. I scoured the Internet and the radio for news about the ruckus outside my window, and found nothing. The city’s paper of record continued to live blog the presidential debate. And then…

…the reports finally started coming in on KYW.com, the web presence of the local 24-hour news radio station. A police officer had been shot in the shoulder just blocks from my home after chasing down a suspect who had already shot two other people. The suspect then ran, dropped his weapon, and jumped into the Schuylkill river. What I heard were the police helicopters combing the riverbanks, and the deployment of marine units to troll the waters.

I was right the first time. It sounded as though every police unit in the nearest half-dozen zip codes was screeching down the street. I should have known that an officer was down. It’s not that the police don’t care when a civilian takes a hit, but when anyone is fool enough to shoot a cop — on Mischief Night, no less — everyone in blue will come down swift and hard.

Welcome to Killadelphia. Second scar to the right, and straight on till morning.

The suspect remains at large.

I’m beginning to wonder if something unfortunate happened just now in conjunction with the Presidential debates being held in Philadelphia at Drexel University. During the last 15 minutes, the downtown area adjacent to the debate was completely awash in sirens, all moving in the direction of the debate site. I suppose I’ll read about it tomorrow morning, folded into courteous fourths.

It was a busy day here in my corner of cyberspace. Last night, feeling nostalgic for the old Usenet days of alt.fan.jen-coolest, I decided to rally the Jens on NaBloPoMo. Of which there are many!

Though the Circle of Jens began slowly climbing the charts as a forum group, I was hoping for a more Jen-like showing — so I looked up some Jens and asked them to join the fun. As I write, we are three dozen Jens strong, and counting.

As though on cue, the folks at A Word A Day (AWAD) decided to feature the word “jentacular” today, an adjective that means “relating to breakfast”. This puzzles me on many levels. First, how could “jentacular” be anything other than a tribute to the spectacular essence of Jen-itude? But more pressingly, what is this Latin root, “jentare”, that begins with the letter “J”? I thought that “J” didn’t show up until sometime after the fall of the Roman Empire, Iulius Caesar notwithstanding.

The AWAD quote from Michael Smith’s Bibliophilia: A Novella and Stories was quite seductive: “The Gentleman loved to hold that crackling rectangle in front of his face (folded, of course, into courteous fourths), loved the slant of the jentacular sun, the slightly acrid odor of the newsprint, the snappy headlines.” Smith makes reading the morning paper sound as sensual as eating chocolate in a milk bath. Now, that’s jentacular.

It’s that crazy season again. After promising myself I would sit out National Blog Posting Month this year, my resolve was completely shattered when I saw this year’s badges.

So yes, people, I’m back. Stay tuned.